Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
