I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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