the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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