Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
