i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
