Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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