Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
True strength comes from lack of pants
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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