is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so let's talk penis.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
