i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
