When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
