I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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