hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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