Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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