just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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