We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
