my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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