Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
