Don't make out with my wife yet
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
