I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
