can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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