i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
