I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
