how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize