She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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