So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You took a bar mat shot.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
