I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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