Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
