Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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