I wish I only lived at night.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is Oprah even human
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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