What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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