HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
