i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm jealous of your bromance
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
as a side note pls kill me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
