last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
