I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
