You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
