Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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