look no pants
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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