Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
