I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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