can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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