My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
