I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
