college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
