how can u be prego again
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
