Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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