I feel like abortions should bother me more
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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