Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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