Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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