How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize