that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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