he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
