Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
