Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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