ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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