Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think i got beer on your cat.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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