his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
