I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize