dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
