How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Terrible idea I love it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
