Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
