She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dignity is for republicans.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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