I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
