just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
