So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
