Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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