I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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