yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
