bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wear drunk well.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
