How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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