Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's blow job season.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize