Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
