oh god the rape fog is back!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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