Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
even my farts smell like vagina
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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