quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
