Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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