I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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