this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i think my mom watched the whole time
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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