you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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